Tag Archive for: #cooperativeextension
Cooperative Extension with Jean Bell 05/17/18
Some thoughts about discipline
Discipline is a topic that many parents have strong views about. Discipline is not about spanking or not spanking your child, but rather a way of teaching your child positive behaviors.
The June issue of Growing Together, a newsletter published by Growing Child contains a column titled The Big Ten, which has ten thoughts on the topic of discipline that I would like to share with you.
- Know what you want to accomplish. Reflect on the kind of person you want your child to become by adulthood, and make decisions based on those goals. Keeping the big picture in mind prevents falling into the trap of quick fixes, such as discipline that stops the behavior temporarily, without children understanding the reason behind the limits.
- Remember that when kids misbehave, it is not personal-they are not doing it just to drive you crazy. They are either developmentally unable to act as you would like, or they have not yet learned the lessons you want to teach. Take time to figure out the reason instead of just getting upset.
- Consider whether you sound like your mother or father. This is not necessarily a bad thing. But merely repeating the discipline practices from your childhood without thinking about whether they are appropriate to your goals can be counterproductive. Bad memories are strong, so figure out what is motivating your guidance pattern.
- See life from your child’s viewpoint. When you consider things from a child’s perspective, you can often prevent problems from occurring; an example would be a too long wait with nothing to do in a restaurant. In addition, understanding how children think helps parents teach in a way that helps children see the sense in behaving in particular ways.
- Remember that discipline has a different meaning than punishment. Discipline means teaching, punishing means stopping in negative, often hurtful ways. Children don’t learn new and better behaviors when they are punished, they merely learn to stop that behavior temporarily, and not get caught the next time.
- Too many rules mean lots of rule breaking-and parental policing. Instead, remember the big ideas for setting limits-kids need to learn to keep themselves safe, to respect the property and rights of others, and to take responsibility for their actions.
- Change your focus from the negative to the positive. When you catch kids being good and pay attention to that behavior, you reinforce that behavior. Reinforced behavior is strengthened. Ignoring behaviors you don’t want, or quickly redirecting them without too much attention to the negative, causes undesirable behavior to disappear.
- Keep your cool. When kids are yelled at all learning goes out the window, as they concentrate on feeling ashamed and fearful. This is not easy to do, but when parents take time to calm themselves, they are far more effective in their guidance.
- Be strong in your beliefs. Caving into toddler outbursts or the emotional blackmail of older children is not good for them now or in the future. Kids feel safer with authoritative parents.
- Admit your mistakes. Nobody’s perfect. Sometimes all these reminders will go out the window, as you and the kids have a really bad day. The life lesson of having a parent apologize and try harder is lasting: we do our best.
The job of guiding children to learn appropriate behavior is an important job of parents. Take the time to reflect on your discipline strategy. Hopefully, these tips will give you some insight on positive discipline.
Source: Growing child newsletter, June 2018 page 3 www.growingchild.com
Cooperative Extension with Jean Bell 05/10/18
Screen-Free Kids
Kids spend too much time on screens! Screen time includes television, videos, computers and computer games and smartphones. The American Academy of Pediatrics and the White House Taskforce on Childhood Obesity recommend no screen time for kids under age two and less than two hours a day of educational programming for older kids.
But we know that many kids spend much more time than that in front of a screen. According to the Campaign for a Commercial-Free Childhood, on any given day 29% of babies under the age of one are watching TV for 90 minutes and 23% of these kids even have a TV in their bedroom. Time with screens increases rapidly after the first year. Between age one and two, 64% are watching over two hours a day, and 36% have a TV in their bedroom! By the time kids are eight, they average about seven hours of screen time daily!
Excessive screen time is linked to increased BMI and childhood obesity, irregular sleep patterns, delayed language acquisition, and less time interacting with parents. Kids who reduce screen time are less likely to be obese, have a healthier diet, do better in school, and are more physically active.
As parents, we set limits and examples for screen time. Start reducing your screen time and replace it with healthy active behaviors.
A great place to start is to remove the TV from bedrooms. Make the bedroom a screen-free zone, by moving all TV’s and computers to a family room.
Set firm limits for TV watching, video games and phone and computer use. You might want to track just how much you and your family use screens, and reduce usage for everyone. Track your use for a week, and don’t forget to add in smartphone use, computer use, gaming use and TV viewing. It can add up to a lot more hours than you realize.
Have a family conversation about how much screen time you have, and come up with ideas together to reduce your time. Find other activities to do together, think about outside games, family puzzle or game night, reading books or listening to music. There are loads of things to do together as a family instead of everyone plugged into a separate screen.
Pledge to turn off the TV during dinner. Make use of dinner time to talk about your day with your family.
When you do watch TV, be active during the time you spend watching. Do yoga, stretch, walk on a treadmill or in place. Have a family competition to see who can do the most sit-ups during a commercial break.
Try not to use screen devices as a reward or a punishment as this can make the devices seem even more important to your kids.
The Campaign for a Commercial-Free Childhood encourages everyone to reduce screen time by having a screen free week. Their website, www.screenfree.org has tips and pledge cards you and your child can use to help turn off your screens for a week. Try eliminating or reducing your screen time for a week. You might just be pleasantly surprised how much fun you can have without screens.
Cooperative Extension with Jean Bell 05/03/18
Tobacco and e-cigarettes
Tobacco and tobacco products have played an important role in the history of NC. Many parents and grandparents in our area grew up in the tobacco industry and used tobacco products. However, everyone now knows the risks of using tobacco products. Parents want to make sure that their children grow up strong and healthy, and discouraging kids from starting smoking is as important to healthy growth as eating healthy foods.
Nicotine, the addictive ingredient in tobacco products has been shown to harm brain development in children. Many children will experiment with tobacco products in adolescence. The years from 12 to 25 are an important time for brain development. During this period, the brain undergoes structural and functional development- it is still under construction. The brain is sensitive to neurobiological insults, including nicotine during development. This can increase the risk of becoming addicted to nicotine and other substances, and lower amounts of nicotine can cause harm. Nicotine is also harmful to younger children and unborn children. Some of the negative long-term consequences of nicotine are sudden infant death syndrome, impaired brain and lung development, and effects on behaviors and learning. Nicotine affects the central nervous system and the cardiovascular system by causing blood vessels to constrict, raising the pulse and blood pressure. Additionally, eating, drinking or absorbing nicotine through the skin can cause nicotine poisoning. Young children are especially vulnerable to this. Symptoms of nicotine poisoning include nausea, vomiting, seizures and it can be fatal.
Parents can discourage the use of tobacco products best by being a role model- if you smoke, then quit. Many people have switched to e-cigarettes because they believe they are safer. This is not necessarily the case. E-cigarettes also contain nicotine. They also may contain other chemicals that can be harmful. Studies have shown varying amounts of nicotine in e-cigarettes, and there are few quality and manufacturing standards for e-cigarettes. Whether you get nicotine from an e-cigarette or another tobacco product, does not matter, the nicotine is still harmful no matter where it is from.
A problem with e-cigarettes for young children is poisoning. There has been a significant rise in poisoning due to exposure to the liquids in e-cigarettes. There were 215 calls per month nationally to poison control centers in 2014 about this exposure. These used cartridges and bottles are a potential hazard to young children. If you use these products treat them as you would and dangerous substance, and keep them away from young children.
Educate your kids about tobacco and nicotine use. One way is to have a conversation with your kids about the dangers of using these products. A more natural discussion will help your kids to listen, so pick the right moment. Ask your child what she thinks if you see someone using an e-cigarette in person or in an advertisement. Tell your child that e-cigarettes are not safe, but avoid criticism if your child tells you that he or his friends have used e-cigarettes. You can get help for quitting from your health care provider, websites such as www.smokefree.gov or www.quitlinenc.com or calling helplines 1-800-QUIT-NOW .
Setting a smoke free example for your children by not smoking or quitting will help your whole family be healthier.